It's okay to slow down
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It's okay to sometimes take the longer route to work, it's okay to be stuck in traffic, it's okay to not finish all the tasks on your to-do list. Not every day needs to look like a marathon, running from one minute to another, from one place to another, from one thought to another. Efficiency is not a measure of how well you have lived your life, we are not machines, we are stupid little humans, we are meant to live fully, that's all that we were ever supposed to do.
It's fun to grow, to learn, to build ourselves, to see the extents of our capabilities, but what keeps it fun is to let go sometimes. To let go of the need to always fill our time with something or the other, to let go of the need to always be productive, to always have a plan so that you don't miss out on life.
But life is not what you see on your calendar. Life happens when you are stuck in traffic and you cannot do anything about it, life is the realisation that you don't have control over a lot of things, life is what happens outside of your to-do list.
So, take a deep breath and slow down. Slow down to do what wasn't on the plan, to sit beside the window, stare outside, and to just feel the time unfold, to feel everything that's happening around you, to observe that there is more in this world than just our silly to-do list.
Stop moulding your days into structures, blueprints, and just let it be. Let it be however it has to be, observe it, see how it keeps passing on without any force. It's a peaceful feeling when you finally realise that life is not something to excel at, it's not a course, it's not a subject, it's not like somebody else knows that subject better than you. Everyone has their own way of living life, and only you are responsible for how well you live yours.
But what if you are missing out on life because you are constantly in a state of proving that you are smart enough, social enough, confident, successful, rich, well-spoken, well educated, well dressed. You do this because you feel that this is what life is all about. When you are not working in the office, you are socialising so you don't miss on the fun, or you join a pottery class so that you don't feel you're not developing enough skills.
You are just constantly filling your days so that you don't feel unproductive, so that you don't have to face yourself or the raw thoughts that you keep concealing.
Sometimes people don't know who they are, they allow their work, their social life, their hobbies to describe them. They want to be the most ambitious person in the office, the most lively person in the party, the most outgoing, the most everything that'll help them see themselves better with a lens that is not theirs.
And being someone who regularly plans her day, I used to feel guilty when I would find myself doing nothing, or even spending more time on tasks which didn't require that much time. It would all mean that I am not utilising my day "efficiently". And living like this exhausts you, it makes you question the things that you once started because you loved doing them. It makes you ask yourself whether what you are doing is actually productive or simply a hobby?
It's gradually that I realised, if I didn't finish a task today then it's not going to be the end of the world. I can do it tomorrow, or maybe the day after. I started focusing on giving my all to what I was doing rather than thinking whether I am being efficient enough or not. And being a planning freak, I hated uncertainty, I hated being spontaneous, but now it's changing a bit.
Now I look forward to my day being spontaneous (not much though, a little bit is good), I say yes to things that are not on my to-do list, I feel okay if today was less productive. I don't want my life to look mechanical, to only revolve around my work or being productive. I trust myself more now when I say yes to a spontaneous plan because I know it's going to be an experience of how life truly feels, something that's beyond what I planned for.
That's all for this time!
I would love to hear your views on it
Comment below or mail me at hook.mishika@gmail.com
